Every situation that we experience in the world is an opportunity to let go of the idea that we know what things mean. When we recognize that we have given everything we see the meaning it has for us, we can choose differently. Becoming still and receptive to the Holy Spirit’s way of seeing, rather than interpretations based on the belief in past learning, opens us to guidance in a very practical way.
People-Pleasing
The Trick of Interdependency
Interdependency is assumed to be normal and necessary at every level of the human experience, from interpersonal to international. But, in truth, it’s an ego substitute for the oneness of Spirit which is our fundamental, quantum reality. Human collaboration will never set us free from the human condition. True collaboration comes from following your heart and your intuition, and for this to be possible, there must be a shift in perception that sees there is nothing outside of you and that all minds are inherently interconnected.
What Thoughts Are Running Your Life?
What thoughts and beliefs are running your life? Do you think you need to act a certain way and say the right things in order to be loved? Do you think something bad will happen if you actually follow your heart? These people-pleasing mechanisms can be released when their underlying beliefs and assumptions are held […]
How to Be Free of People-Pleasing
The ego’s identity is very shaky! It is constantly searching for approval from the world. Notice when you are tempted to use people-pleasing in order to feel liked, or feel good about yourself. The only way that you can be free of people-pleasing is to get down to your underlying beliefs and assumptions. These beliefs are underneath the stream of thoughts that happen on the surface of your everyday life. You get a lot of opportunities on a daily basis to let the Spirit help you navigate your mind and the world that is projected from your mind!
Cause and Effect
Sadness is a form a depression. In “A Course in Miracles,” when Jesus talks about depression, he says that depression comes form being deprived of something you want and do not have, but we must remember that we are deprived of nothing except by our own decisions. We must decide otherwise. The ego will associate this feeling with a specific form, but the image is never the cause. Everything you experience is your decision. By contrast, the Holy Spirit is always calling you into present joy. There are no goodbyes in the holy instant. Follow guidance spontaneously.
The Playful, Collaborative Mind
We live in community at a Monastery in Utah; it is not like what you may think, however. It is very spontaneous and we follow only two rules: no people-pleasing and no private thoughts. In this honesty, we allow our resistances to come up and be released. This stops us from taking things so seriously, and we become more creative and playful. The creative impulse born out of this is the miracle mind, and miracles are collaborative. While living in community in Mallorca, Spain at a 6-week retreat we organized, there were many opportunities to release old habits of thinking; this talk starts with a music video that poured out as a beautiful collaboration by some of the Messengers of Peace while participating in that retreat. Through sharing these things with the world, we share our attitude of love and truth. And “No one can fail, who seeks to reach the truth.” (ACIM, W-131) Is there a finer promise than that?
Give Miracles
On the spiritual journey there is a discipline, a mind training, to undo the doer. Experiment with the steps. We seem to have a sense of self-doubt and fear of getting a bad evaluation. Wouldn’t it be nice to transcend that, to just show up in presence and let go into the flow?! The Holy Spirit gives you the gifts, the miracles, to give from the storehouse of your mind moment to moment.
Saying “No”
“No” is an absolutely essential word in the vocabulary of the Holy Spirit. It is not helpful to get into bargaining in relationships, constantly compromising, people-pleasing in order to be liked. This reinforces the idea of “my way” and “your way.” When you tune in to guidance and prompts you can confidently say “no.” No’s from the Holy Spirit are firm no’s: “No, but thank you for asking.”
Is This the Voice of the Holy Spirit or the Ego?
Here is a handy decision-making mechanism: how many decisions are based on fear of consequences? Imagine if love were your only motivator. Ask, “What am I doing this for?” The fear motive is the insatiable desire to get. Let God direct all your doing. The ego thinks you need to get the job, the wife/husband, the house, the kids, etc. Ask the Holy Spirit for the real purpose of this particular decision. Do you want freedom, intimacy, love, peace? Perhaps you think you have to do a lot of things to get them. Follow Spirit/intuition every instant instead. “A Course in Miracles” is like a sharp blade that burrows down into your mind, healing it.
The Dynamics of Forgiveness
David Hoffmeister shares the dynamics of forgiveness: Withdrawing the projection and admitting you were wrong about the interpretation/judgment is the key.