Tilba, Australia 2009. Introduction.
Dark Night of the Soul
At first forgiveness seems to deal with specifics. As if something in the world had a real cause and effect. It may seem that something you thought you had forgiven reappears. This is an opportunity to go deeper in the mind to get at the very root of the seeming problem. One begins to see there is only one problem and one solution, not many differing problems. This is the good news!
David Hoffmeister is asked about the ego and the defense of simply attempting to use words to deny the “reality” of the world. David talks about how unconscious beliefs must be undone and how it is important to go through the darkness to the light.
The ego made the world. All miscreation comes from the belief in separation from God. Forgive the belief in separation. See that you have a perceptual problem. You have had a major break with reality, which is psychosis. If you’ve ever noticed the thought, “I feel crazy sometimes, what’s wrong with me?” then you are becoming aware of the insanity! You are hallucinating. Pray to the Holy Spirit to show you, convince you, of the truth.
Facing fear takes trust. The spiritual path is one of negation of blocks and it is important to get in touch with the blocks so that they can be removed. In this way, fear and other strong emotions can be welcomed as they come up and can be moved through. This does involve trust as emotions can feel very strong at times.
The more you make major steps forward in a loving way, the more the ego rises up in defense. It’s like two steps forward, one step back. Just watch the one step back, the attack thoughts. The ego backlash can seem very dark. It’s the same old pattern. Don’t draw any conclusions. Then find a pick-up, a reminder, such as, “Dream softly of your sinless brother.” (T-27.VII.15:1) You have never been unfairly treated; that was just a misperception. Don’t allow yourself to keep falling for defenses, for drama, or for games that would distract you.
Any upsetting thought is just a thin veil drawn over intense rage. Death is a decision. What happens to you, you have asked for. Atonement is accepting the correction that has already been given. Forgiveness is a life wish. The ego is a death wish. The prerequisite for accepting the correction is to see the death wish as in your mind. First you must understand that your problem is always a perceptual problem; you are seeing something that is not there. Once you admit this then you can accept the answer, the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The solution is never a choice in this world; nothing in the world needs to be saved; only the mind can be salvaged. Face your darkness, your belief in lack. You are worthy of moving through it to perfect happiness. God’s plan for you cannot fail. The world is escaped through life.
Attack thoughts are kept as long as a distinction is made between the inner emotional world and the external world. The ego sees a big difference between being the victim and being the attacker. It asks who’s right and who’s wrong; who deserves forgiveness? But the ego itself is the attack thought. Nothing out in the world can alleviate your upset. If you see that victim and victimizer are the same, then you’ll be ready to let attack go. You must look at the nonspecific anger in your mind, get in touch with it and bring it up. It’s not pretty, but Spirit can handle it. Then you want to let it go.