A woman who killed a bird while driving her car asks, “How to let go of the guilt?” The ego world is complex and meaningless. The dream the ego made is designed to be so complex that there will be a pervasive and suffocating feeling of being trapped in a very crazy place. You are not afraid of a bad and hostile world. The thing that scares you the most is meaninglessness. You’ll even make up good and bad to avoid meaninglessness. Yet the deeper you start to go down and expose more layers, the more you’ll see this meaninglessness. But eventually you’ll come to a point of surrender. You can’t figure out what anything means. In fact the only escape is to have all meaning over to Holy Spirit.
The ego is the denial of love, a fear of real intimacy. Everyone on earth believes they are separate from everyone else. So, along with its belief system, the ego invented romantic love to take the place of divine Love. This is simply a substitute, much like a light bulb gives off light at a very minute level. Everything in this world is a cover, like a shield, against knowing our true light, which we share with everyone and everything.
The ego made the world. All miscreation comes from the belief in separation from God. Forgive the belief in separation. See that you have a perceptual problem. You have had a major break with reality, which is psychosis. If you’ve ever noticed the thought, “I feel crazy sometimes, what’s wrong with me?” then you are becoming aware of the insanity! You are hallucinating. Pray to the Holy Spirit to show you, convince you, of the truth.
Boredom is a form of depression that occurs when the mind has become addicted to change. The cure is the spontaneity that comes from connection with inner guidance in the moment, connection with purpose. You become immersed in the Presence and the “doer” disappears. Spirit does the task through you and collaboration flows easily.
You cannot wake yourself, but you can allow yourself to be spiritually awakened. Resign now as your own teacher and call for Spirit’s help. Be “taught through,” by demonstrating a forgiving attitude. Desire the peace of mind that you deserve. You may encounter ego backlash. Don’t analyze the darkness; say “oops” and hand it over to the Holy Spirit.